Sort of like a Freaky Friday meets Mr. Mom flick. It would be loosely autobiographical, of course, but there would also be a SciFi element to it. There would need to be a way for my husband and I to switch places for one day, or perhaps a week, so we could REALLY see who's day is harder.
Right now we're both convinced that the other is completely insane for even SUGGESTING his or her day might have been just a smidge more challenging, a tad more tiring, than the other's. I think a Freaky Friday experience might set the record straight.
I only see one chink in the armor: Daddy Bad Cop's persona requires an incredible amount of energy to sustain itself. Like a star going supernova, if Daddy Bad Cop stayed home with the kids, he would burn out and collapse in on himself long before Rollie tried to change his own poopy diaper, long before Elsa ate a dried ladybug carcass she found in the foyer, long before the dog dug a hole large enough to bury Jimmy Hoffa in the backyard. Jeff has yet to learn the art of marathon parenting. He can handle the kids in spurts, but I have my doubts that he'd make it from 6 am to 6 pm. I have the feeling that by 9:50, right around the time when I try to leave the house but Elsa decides to take a Monster Truck Dump and Rollie decides it's much more fun to run down lizards in his tricycle than get into the car, Daddy Bad Cop would assume a fetal position and choke to death on his own tears of despair and defeat.
To be fair, I'm sure his day is harder overall. I've no doubt it's heartbreaking to have to leave every day at the ass-crack of dawn to go make beer. And talk about it. And drink it. And take it home to drink later. What a bitch that must be.
But, until the day comes when he gets home from work with spit-up on his shirt, bite marks on his nipples, the theme song from Olivia in his head and utter exhaustion soaking deep in his bones from manhandling fifty pounds of children all day long, the only way we'll know for sure who deserves to sleep in on Saturday is to switch places for a week.
So be on the lookout for The Seven Day Switch, coming soon to a theatre near you....
disclaimer: the author would like to add that she loves her husband dearly and appreciates everything he does for her and her family. especially when he brings home free beer.