Thursday, August 20, 2009

Mother By Numbers

Time Rollie woke up yesterday morning: 5:23
Number of blueberries I put on his breakfast plate: 18
Number of blueberries he actually ate: 3
Number of his blueberries I ate: 15
Number of balls I pitched to him during The Today Show: 21
Number of times I told him to get off of Baby Elsa or he'll squish her: 12
Number of times I asked him if he had to use the potty: 10
Number of times I asked him if he was sure he didn't have to use the potty: 10
Number of times he actually sat on the potty: 3
Number of time he actually went in the potty: 0
Number of times he peed directly onto the floor: 1
Number of towels I used to clean up the mess: 2
Number of pacifiers scattered around the house for Baby Elsa: 4
Number of pacifiers I was able to locate: 0
Number of minutes Elsa spent half-heartedly crying because I couldn't find her pacifier: 7
Number of times I contemplated getting my tubes tied: 6
Number of episodes of Ni-Hao Kai-Lan Rollie watched: 2
Number of times Rollie climbed in Elsa's crib: 3
Number of time Rollie climbed into Elsa's crib with Elsa in it: 2
Number of times I threatened to spank Rollie's bottom: 16
Number of times I actually spanked Rollie's bottom: 2
Number of times I should have spanked Rollie's bottom: at least 20
Number of times I thought to myself, "Calgon, take me away!": 9
Number of years since I've actually seen that commercial: like, 18, and I finally get it.
Number of minutes late my husband was coming home from work: 90
Number of seconds he was in the door before I threw the kids at him and hid: 2
Number of times Rollie got out of bed after being tucked in: 4
Number of times I sang Little Rollie to him: 3
Number of Family Guy episodes Jeff and I watched after the kids were finally sleeping: 2
Number of beers I drank while watching Family Guy: 1.5
Number of M&M's I ate while drinking beer and watching Family Guy: approximately 47
Time I went to bed: 9:43
Number of times I got out of bed to settle down Elsa: 4
Number of times I got out of bed to stop the dog from snoring: 1
Number of times I elbowed Jeff to stop him from snoring: 2
Time Rollie woke up today: 5:20