Still Life

Ever since he was a toddler, Rollie has had an unusual habit.  At least, I think it's unusual.  It could, in fact, be the most normal thing a kid does, only I wouldn't know it because I try to ignore children as much as possible. Especially my own.

Rollie is really into arranging things in a line.  Usually it's toys, but I've also seen him do this with food, shoes, gum wrappers, blankets...anything that comes in multiples, he likes to line up neatly, like a little parade of peas is marching across his plate.  And onto the floor.  And into my dog's stomach.

I'm thinking this habit might actually be genetic.  Jeff is kind of OCD in a neat, orderly, anal, borderline-Sleeping-With-The-Enemy-But-Without-The-Creepy-Mustache kinda way.  It's not necessarily a bad thing....unless it's 8 o'clock at night and I'm dealing with Overtired Miserable children and instead of helping me carry out the threats I've had to resort to, Jeff has decided that it's the perfect time to give our pantry an Extreme Makeover.  And that's precisely when I feel like snorting a bunch of coke and screaming at him through a megaphone.

Anyway, Jeff is all about arranging things in an orderly fashion.  He is the neatnik in our family.  So perhaps he has passed this charming little trait onto our son.  Whereas I passed along my goofy sense of humor and propensity to run around without any pants on.

Over the months I've taken a few pictures of Rollie's masterpieces, mainly because they were so meticulously arranged that I had to keep some sort of record of his work for future reference...when he's found to be incredibly gifted and they need photographic evidence of his genius.  Or he's declared insane.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Here we have a young Rollie, being schooled under the tutelage of Jeff...not unlike Obi Wan and Anakin Skywalker...except that neither Jeff nor Rollie is a Jedi (although they are perhaps better actors).  Notice the perfectly aligned magnets?  I can almost hear Jeff's voice, carefully coaxing Rollie to align the next one just so.... That's it, Rollie.  Put it neatly right there on the floor.  See how neat and orderly the row of magnets is?  How pleasing to the eye?  Soon you will master the ways of the force.  Gooood....Gooood....

Here's Rollie's animal still life.  Instead of taking a nap, he was creating a marching menagerie.  These animals all have tiny little feet and getting them to stand up on the carpet is a giant pain in the ass. Instead of giving him a timeout for not staying in his bed, I gave him props for being so patient.  Which is probably why he has a rebellious, mischievous, manipulative little streak (although he could have inherited those traits from his Auntie Carrie).

Fun with chopsticks!  And straws!  And ice cream!  At least he wasn't screaming his head off at Benihana's.  That was Elsa....

Here is his latest opus.  He was quiet for about twenty minutes working on this one.  Him being quiet and out of sight for so long used to make me worry that he was either a.) putting something in the toilet that didn't belong there, b.) putting something into a bodily orifice that didn't belong there or c.) taking a dump.  Now his silence usually means he's busy arranging something in a row, or he's smothering Baby Els with her own wubby.