I've written another song. Please feel free to sing along. (And don't be a smart-ass and skip to the end...Jeff pointed out that everyone would do that, and I got all pissed off and insisted that they wouldn't. Please don't give him the satisfaction of being right. He gets to be smug around me way too much.)
The Twelve Days of Christmas, Motherhood Style
On the first day of Christmas my children gave to me
a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the second day of Christmas my children gave to me
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the third day of Christmas my children gave to me
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the fourth day of Christmas my children gave to me
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the fifth day of Christmas my children gave to me
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the sixth day of Christmas my children gave to me
Six nervous breakdowns
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the seventh day of Christmas my children gave to me
Seven temper tantrums
Six nervous breakdowns
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the eight day of Christmas my children gave to me
Eight stains of milk and
Seven temper tantrums
Six nervous breakdowns
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the ninth day of Christmas my children gave to me
Nine loads of laundry
Eight stains of milk and
Seven temper tantrums
Six nervous breakdowns
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the tenth day of Christmas my children gave to me
Ten nights of teething
Nine loads of laundry
Eight stains of milk and
Seven temper tantrums
Six nervous breakdowns
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the eleventh day of Christmas my children gave to me
Eleven diapers reeking
Ten nights of teething
Nine loads of laundry
Eight stains of milk and
Seven temper tantrums
Six nervous breakdowns
Fiiiiiive bathtub riiiiiings...
Four naughty words
Three bite marks
Two saggy boobs
And a reason for Jeff's vasectomy
On the twelfth day of Christmas my husband gave to me
A twelve-pack of beer.
Merry Christmas.
